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When my family of 5 moved in with my parents, there was an adjustment period. Now, they don't want us to leave.

31 de Maio de 2026, 09:03
The author and her mom
The author and her family moved in with her parents.

Courtesy of Melissa Noble

  • My family of five moved in with my parents earlier this year.
  • It took my parents a bit of an adjustment period to get used to us in their space.
  • Now, they don't want us to leave.

When my siblings and I moved out of home in our late teens and early 20s, my mom really struggled with the empty nest syndrome. Even years later, when we were getting married and having babies of our own, she would talk about how much she missed her four kids.

Never in a million years did she ever think any of us would be back living at home as adults. But as fate would have it, here I am, age 41, living with my mom and dad, along with my three kids and husband.

In January, my family of five moved from country Victoria, Australia, to the Gold Coast, my hometown. To save money, my folks offered us the bottom level of their double-story home. For the first couple of months, they were overseas traveling, and then in March, our multigenerational living story began.

I'm not going to lie — it did take time for my folks to adjust to sharing their space. After all, they had lived alone in the family home for 20-odd years. Suddenly, there were boisterous (and often messy) kids tearing around, and two extra adults in the house.

However, after setting a few ground rules, we soon got into a nice daily rhythm, and they are now genuinely loving having us around. The other day, my mom even said she didn't want us to leave.

I know that my folks are the ones doing us the favor, not the other way around. We haven't had to pay rent for four months or worry about buying furniture after the interstate move. But funnily enough, I think my parents are also benefiting from the multigenerational living arrangement in various ways.

More security and safety

My parents are doing pretty well for their age, but their health has still declined in recent years. I think having my husband and me around has improved their sense of safety, as we can offer care and assist during emergencies.

The other day, my 81-year-old dad took a tumble at the top of the stairs. Ordinarily, my 77-year-old mom would have had to heave him up on her own or call my brother or sister to dash over. But because I was downstairs working and heard the thud, I ran upstairs and checked he was OK.

Likewise, when my mom deteriorated rapidly from a bacterial lung infection recently, my husband and I made the decision to call an ambulance. I'm glad we did, as she ended up staying in the hospital for a week. If we weren't around, my dad would have had to deal with the situation on his own or call my siblings to assist.

The author and her dad
The author and her family have discovered many benefits of multigenerational living.

Courtesy of Melissa Noble

Built-in companionship

We try to give each other plenty of space, but we still spend a lot of time together throughout the day. Every morning, I have tea with my dad, and during my lunch break, I eat with my folks. We also share nightly meals and chat about the day's events.

When us kids left, I think mom struggled with grief, loneliness, and a loss of purpose. But now, their home is filled with laughter and grandkids. My parents don't get a chance to feel lonely, and they are still very much needed.

Household help and shared responsibilities

Being a double-story house, Mom and Dad's home takes a lot of energy to maintain, especially for two older people. But having two extra adults taking care of the property has eased the burden on my folks.

My husband handles most of the yard maintenance and any heavy lifting, while I cook, do housework, and assist with tech issues. I really didn't want to create any extra strain on my folks, so we are trying our hardest to be of value to them.

Everybody wins

Overall, multigenerational living has been deeply rewarding to both us and to my folks. It has injected vibrant new energy into our old family home, created extra support for my parents, and made us feel like we are 'part of the village.'

I'm sure there are times when my parents long for a bit of peace and quiet, or when they want to scream after sitting down on the couch, only to find a Nerf bullet or stray Barbie arm poking into their backside. But there have been so many unexpected upsides, and I'm really glad I returned to the nest, 41 and all.

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I'm 23, and my 70-year-old grandmother is one of my most influential style icons — I swear by these 5 lessons from her

Teadora Stefanovska and her grandmother
From a young age, I've learned about style from my grandmother.

Teadora Stefanovska

  • My 70-year-old grandmother has been one of my biggest fashion inspirations.
  • At 23, I still draw on her lessons as I get dressed, whether I'm wearing something casual or formal.
  • She's taught me that clothes should be comfortable, practical, and confidence-boosting.

In many ways, my grandmother raised me.

We spent countless days together, and her face is at the center of some of my fondest childhood memories. She's one of the greatest influences in my life, shaping everything from how I see the world to how I dress.

Even as a 23-year-old, I admire her sense of style. Throughout her life, she's built an elegant wardrobe that draws from trends without necessarily following them.

At 70 years old, she continues to inspire me. Whenever I open my wardrobe to choose an outfit, I carry one of her invaluable lessons with me.

One of her core beliefs is that accessories should add to an outfit, not overwhelm it

Hand figurine, sunglasses, gold jewelry, colorful bead jewelry, statement rings and various hair accessories on the white table.
Hoop earrings are a timeless staple.

Jelena990/Getty Images

I love accessories, often throwing on chunky jewelry, layering bold pieces, and stacking belts on my hips. Although my grandmother appreciates outfit embellishments, she's taught me to approach them with intention. They should add to an outfit, not overpower it.

For example, she isn't afraid to incorporate a pop of color — as long as it matches her accessories, from her bag to her shoes to her belt.

She's also strategic about her jewelry, choosing pieces based on her neckline and hairstyle that day. Her go-to earrings? Versatile medium-sized hoops, which are big enough to be visible under a range of hairstyles without dominating a look.

Now, my favorite everyday earrings are silver hoops. Every time I put them on, I feel like they brighten me up.

Although I play around with maximalist, trend-forward pieces, I stick to my grandmother's rules when I want to look elegant and timeless.

She taught me that walking with confidence can upgrade an outfit

My grandmother has always told me that picking out beautiful pieces is just the first step in putting together a great outfit. The way I carry myself when I'm wearing it can make or break a look.

I have vivid memories of her instructing me to walk in a straight line with my shoulders back, stepping with one leg in front of the other. I felt like I was balancing books on my head.

Over the years, walking with confidence has become second nature, whether I'm wearing a dress and heels or a sweatsuit and sneakers. She was right: It does make my clothes look better.

Even when my grandmother has dealt with health issues that affect her movements, she's always followed her own advice, walking straight with her head held high and shoulders back.

Her wardrobe is built on staple pieces that are practical and make her feel good

My grandmother has never been one to experiment much with clothes. I'm hard-pressed to remember a time when she wasn't wearing simple garments like straight pants, sweaters, tight long-sleeve T-shirts, or loose short-sleeve T-shirts.

She found her practical, elegant style when she was in high school and stayed true to it through every stage of life.

She gravitates toward easy-to-wear pieces that move with her and fit her body well. To her, clothes are meant to be worn, so they have to look and make her feel good in order to secure a spot in her closet.

For the past five years, I've focused on emulating her wardrobe. Every item I buy has to look good, feel nice on my body, and be practical.

When she layers, she makes sure the pieces complement each other

woman walking on city street in neutral clothing
My grandmother taught me to layer strategically.

AnnaZhuk/Getty Images

My grandmother has taught me that layering well requires more than throwing on multiple garments and calling it a day. The pieces have to be harmonious.

She has a way of looking elegant even as she combines unlikely pieces. When she's cold, I see her drape a long wool coat over her shoulders, throw on a pair of leather gloves, and tie a silk scarf around her neck.

Her base is always simple and cohesive, creating the perfect foundation for a layered outfit.

I've never been a big fan of layering clothes, but I use the same approach when choosing accessories. I start with a plain base layer before adding small, complementary pieces. I put thought into each one and consider how it works with the overall look.

My grandmother knows that wrinkles can ruin even the most stylish outfit

Growing up, my mom often insisted that I iron my clothes — later, I learned that the advice stemmed from my grandmother, who often shared it with her when she was young.

After all, even the best outfit can look messy if it's wrinkled.

In my family, crisp lines and smooth sleeves symbolize self-respect and elegance. Now, I follow their advice and never leave the house without ironing my clothes.

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We bought a $630,000 house and moved my mom into the basement apartment. It's helped us care for her and build wealth.

Juli Ford and with her daughter and mother on the couch
Juli Ford lives in a multigenerational house with her family.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

This 'as-told-to' essay is based on a conversation with Juli Ford, a 57-year-old real estate agent and certified senior advisor based in Massachusetts. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When my children were young, we saw my parents all the time.

We lived very close to each other in South Plymouth, Massachusetts, and my parents always helped with the kids. From the time they were born, Wednesdays were Grammy and Grampy Day.

My dad got sick in 2005. When we learned in the summer of 2011 that he probably didn't have much time left, we talked about what life would be like after he was gone, including where my mom would live.

the exterior of Juli Ford's home
The family's house fits three generations.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

When he passed in December 2011, my mom was not ready to live with us. At 68, she had never lived on her own. She'd been with my dad since she was 15.

Then, in April 2015, a house in Pembroke, Massachusetts, about 30 minutes from South Plymouth, came on the market. The second I saw it online, I thought, "Oh, this is perfect."

The house had a beautiful in-law apartment

The house is 4,300 square feet, and the basement is about 800 square feet. Upstairs, there are three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.

three-story floor plan of a multigenerational house with an in-law apartment
The floor plan, which is not drawn to scale, shows that the basement apartment is reserved for the grandmother.

BI

My mom fell in love with the home's basement apartment. It's full of beautiful natural light. It's one bedroom with a den, a full kitchen, a fireplace, its own laundry, 1.5 baths, its own outdoor patio, and two entrances.

We made an offer within two days. We bought the house in April 2015 for $630,000.

My mom had no interest in ownership. Instead, she made a financial contribution toward the down payment equal to what she would have paid in rent for the next five years.

Juli Ford's living room with two couches and two chairs
The living room is a communal space.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

She also gave us money every year for utilities. Last year, she started making a bigger monthly contribution to help cover household expenses. She essentially has not had to pay rent for 10 years, and as the house gets older, the cost of maintaining it grows.

It was a dream when we first moved in

Juli Ford's mother sitting in her kitchen
Ford's mother has her own basement apartment.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

My mom helped me a lot with my kids, especially with their schooling. My kids were 10 and 11 when she moved in, and they were homeschooled. We drove around a lot because we were going to museums and other activities in Boston. She sometimes helped with driving, and she became their English teacher because her first career was teaching English.

Grammy Wednesdays continued when we moved into the house, and my kids, who are 20 and 22 now, would go down and visit her on their own.

My mom has exceptionally good boundaries. I'm sure we did things differently than she would have done with our kids, but she's always been very good at keeping her opinions to herself.

Juli Ford standing in front of her staircase
Ford bought the house with her mother in mind.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

My mom is still independent, but needs our help now

At 82, she's a bit less independent than she was 10 years ago because of health issues. Still, she has privacy: I don't know everything that she does all the time, and we can go days without seeing each other. Other times, we see each other a lot more often.

We have had a few medical emergencies with my mom, so I got in the habit of keeping my phone next to my bed. There have been a few times that she's had to call me.

Juli Ford's mother sitting on a recliner
Ford's mother also has her own living room.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

I cannot imagine how much harder it would be to be a daughter of an aging mom if we weren't in the same house. I would be so much more concerned about her being alone and getting lonelier. It would be more time-consuming for me if I had to go somewhere else to support her.

The house gave us other financial benefits

In the beginning, the only financial benefit I really thought about of combining households was that we could get a nicer house than my husband and I could afford on our own.

Juli Ford's office space in her multigenerational house
The office space.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

Around the time we got this house, my brother's family went through a foreclosure after his wife had been hit by a drunken driver and had a traumatic brain injury. They had a lot of housing instability during that time because she was unable to work and had massive medical bills. They were not sure where they were going to live.

Because we combined households with my mom, we were able to tap into the equity in this house to help them. We took out a home equity loan and bought a small, lovely house, and rented it to them. We weren't really making any money on it, but the rent was paying the bills.

Within two years, they recovered their credit enough that they purchased the house from us. They were able to rebuild their financial well-being in that house.

Juli Ford with her mother and daughter
The three generations all share one home.

Lucy Lu for Business Insider

We used the proceeds from the sale to buy a vacation property in Vermont, which we turned into an Airbnb for four years. When we sold it, we paid off our kids' student loans.

We were all able to build wealth because we combined households with my mom. We feel so proud and grateful. It's not something I saw coming 11 years ago.

I see multigenerational living as one of the most compelling solutions to our elder care and affordable housing crises. Bringing families together around this is really an underutilized solution.

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