• I'm a wedding planner giving advice to readers about sharing crucial information with guests.
• It's OK to skip an open bar, but you should make your plan clear to guests.
• It's best to be straightforward in your invite and tell your guests to avoid wearing white.

In my many years of being a wedding planner, I've helped couples navigate all sorts of difficult situations before and during their big day.

Here are answers to a few common questions they've asked me.

Q: Can we skip bridesmaids and groomsmen? How will this affect the ceremony?

A: You can skip bridesmaids and groomsmen. It's up to you and your partner, but you can either skip those particular titles, which are gendered, or you can forgo a wedding party entirely.

This can affect the ceremony since a wedding party is often standing or sitting alongside a couple at the altar. If you want people to be with you rather than in the audience with other guests, arrange this accordingly — but it's also not necessary that anyone be up there with you.

The biggest change may actually be before and after the ceremony.

Before, you and your partner will want to be very clear about who, if anyone, is taking on the responsibilities that often fall to members of a wedding party. This can include hosting celebrations like an engagement party, a wedding shower, and a bachelor or bachelorette party.

After that, you two will want to pick the witnesses who will sign your legal marriage license, as they are required in nearly all US states.

Though I've worked venues where the witnesses were not members of the wedding party, they often are a part of this group.

Q: Will guests judge us if we have a cash bar?

A: Here's my response to any guest who judges you two for not paying a multi-thousand-dollar bar tab: Pay a cover.

The average cost to cater a guest at a wedding is about $80, and that's before alcohol. So, not opting for an open bar is quite reasonable.

The trick is to message ahead of time through guest-facing communication, such as an invitation or a wedding website. Consider a line as straightforward as "cash bar" to signal to your guests that "there'll be alcohol here but no, we're not paying for it."

I also wish more couples would consider doing an open bar for cocktail hour and a cash bar for the reception. I've done this several times at weddings, and it's always worked well.

Another way to do this is to set a limit with the bar, say, $500. Tell the bartender to notify you or someone you trust when you're approaching this limit. Then you and your partner can decide whether to change the limit or move to cash.

However, setting a limit also requires you to think about logistics on your wedding day, so it's not the right fit for everyone. I suggest it as an option if you two are having trouble deciding what the right number is for the tab.

Q: How many people from our guest list will actually show?

A: Couples often tell me some form of "We're inviting 200, but only think 100 will come." Please don't invite way more guests than you want or than your venue can accommodate — it can backfire.

In my experience, a more reasonable attrition rate is between 10% and 12%, but this can also vary. You may have fewer guests attend if you're planning a destination wedding or invite people with kids.

When in doubt, invite fewer people and then expand your guest list as RSVPs come in. It's not as rude as you think.

Q: How do I get guests to not wear white to a wedding?

A: You tell them not to wear white to a wedding. Guests don't usually do this, but if someone showing up in white will change how you feel about your wedding, communicate that boundary.

Here's one way it could look: "We kindly ask that you do not wear white to the wedding." Then, include details about things people can wear: "All other colors encouraged" or "Black tie but no white, please."

Share this information on your biggest piece of guest-facing communication. This might be an invitation, a wedding website, a Facebook group, or an email — whatever you and your partner are using to tell people the who, what, where, and when of your special day.

This story was originally published on February 17, 2022, and most recently updated on April 7, 2026.

• As an interior-design expert, I've seen people make common style mistakes in living rooms.
• Hide cords from your TV and electronics, and don't put too much furniture in the living room.
• Accent chairs should be used sparingly, and rugs should add personality to your space.

Your living room should feel like a calm, personal retreat—not a source of visual chaos.

As a seasoned interior stylist and founder of DBF Interiors, I've seen plenty of cluttered, unintentionally designed spaces that could be improved with just a few simple tweaks.

Here are a few things to get rid of in your living room if you want an instant upgrade.

Remove furniture that makes your space feel cramped.

Placing too much furniture in a living room is a common design mistake. Poor spatial arrangements paired with large, clunky pieces just make a space feel crowded rather than cozy.

Instead of filling your living room with lots of furniture, be intentional about the items you select.

Focus on curating instead of collecting, seeking out essential pieces that are unique and functional. This will help you maintain a more open floor plan.

Replace boring rugs with ones that make a statement.

I find that many people settle for bland, uninspiring rugs that fail to add color or flavor to a space.

Since rugs make such a big visual statement, go for something exciting. Try out colorful, patterned rugs to jazz up your living room and infuse it with your personality.

Too many accent chairs can cause unneeded clutter.

A beautiful accent chair can complement and enhance a living room.

However, not all spaces have a layout and ideal seating plan that allows for one. Forcing a bulky chair into a space that doesn't fit it properly can create unnecessary clutter.

And if you find yourself needing multiple accent chairs to make a space functional, consider swapping them for a larger, more comfortable sofa.

Hide visible wires to keep your space looking neat.

Visible cords and wires can distract from a well-decorated space and make it feel cluttered.

Fortunately, there are many creative ways to hide them. For example, you can feed them through your TV console or snake them behind baseboard accessories.

You can even purchase concealing cord caps and paint them to match your wall color.

Cover your basic pillows with fresh designs and colors.

Instead of keeping the accent pillows that came with your couch or sticking with basic designs, consider upgrading.

After all, curated accent pillows are a great way to add more personality and substance to your living area.

I suggest swapping out accent pillows every six months to a year to spruce up your living room.

Instead of completely repurchasing new pillows each time, opt for covers that are easy to change and low-commitment (especially if you want to try trendy textures, colors, and patterns).

This story was originally published on May 10, 2021, and most recently updated on March 24, 2026.

• Some of the most common career advice doesn't always hold up.
• You don't necessarily need to find your passion or ascend the corporate ladder to like what you do.
• Because finding a job can be tough, it's important to think about which pieces of advice to follow.

Your boss might prefer a version of you that isn't entirely authentic.

One of the many pieces of career advice that emerged years ago — when the market was far friendlier — is the idea that we should bring our whole selves to work.

That doesn't always work, and it's starting to look a bit threadbare with age, especially because in many industries, employers are being more selective in their hiring.

"If you love wearing tight little leather outfits that are strapped on, I don't want to see that," said Margie Warrell, a leadership consultant and author of the book "The Courage Gap."

"That's not appropriate," she told Business Insider.

The whole-self idea is just one example of bumper-sticker wisdom meant to guide us through our careers, but that often doesn't hold up.

Here are six bits of trite work advice — and what to think about instead:

Find your passion

The impulse to align your work with what you love makes sense. Yet, feeling like you have to "find your passion" can also set you up to fail.

"That's probably as vague as it gets," said Jochen Menges, a professor of human resource management and leadership at the University of Zurich. "It's not an actionable goal."

He told Business Insider that a better approach would be to set goals centered on the emotion you want to feel in your work, such as pride, even though you might not experience it every day.

"If I align my emotional needs more with what I do — with my career prospects — then I'm a lot better off," he said. That, in turn, will accelerate your career, Menges said.

Make it a numbers game

When you're looking for a job, it can be tempting to click apply as many times as possible to increase your chances.

It's an understandable impulse. It feels good to do something tangible when so much of the search process is out of your control.

In a recent survey by the hiring software maker Greenhouse, 53% of recruiters said they review fewer than half of the applications they receive. The survey involved more than 600 recruiters and hiring managers.

While the spray-and-pray approach is tempting, it's generally not the best move. Networking to make connections inside an employer can often be more effective, recruiters say.

If you have a list of places you're targeting, you should network before the job gets posted, career coach Laura Labovich told Business Insider. That's because once a job listing is live, recruiters and hiring managers aren't likely to do more than point you to it.

Climb the ladder

The idea of ascending a corporate hierarchy has become outdated for some workers, said Christian Tröster, an Academy of Management scholar and a professor of leadership and organizational behavior at Germany's Kühne Logistics University.

Instead, he said, people might want to consider what he called a "protean" career — one that changes shape over time.

Tröster said that rather than ascending a ladder, a better aim for many workers would be to become "psychologically successful."

"The ultimate goal of your career is feeling proud and accomplished," he said.

One reason you might not want to scale the ladder is that a push by some leaders for "flatter" organizational structures — and the elimination of middle management — can mean there aren't as many rungs for ambitious workers to grab hold of.

"Careers today are no longer linear," Warrell said. Instead, workers might opt for a lateral move, a side gig, or a so-called portfolio career, where you take on multiple jobs to earn a living while maintaining flexibility.

Warrell said that workers who chart their own paths are often more fulfilled than those who try to grind their way up an org chart.

Don't jump around

Career advice once often included the suggestion that workers avoid changing jobs for at least a year to avoid appearing uncommitted to an organization.

While a string of frequent job changes can raise concerns among prospective employers, Warrell said prohibitions on job-hopping have often softened.

She said "smart" job changes — even in relatively quick succession — that indicate you're taking on extra responsibility and developing new skills can add polish, not tarnish, to a résumé.

"It can be seen as a sign of ambition, adaptability — not instability," Warrell said.

Focus on hard skills

Technical mastery — especially in hot areas like artificial intelligence — can take you far and leave you with your pick of jobs. Yet it's not the only route to career success.

AI is already taking on some of what software engineers do, for example. In surveys, employers often say they're after so-called soft skills, like communication and teamwork.

Menges said one reason soft skills are important is that humans will still be needed to evaluate what AI produces.

To help do that, he said, workers will need to rely in part on emotion for guidance. Menges said that in the 20th century, workers were often told to suppress their feelings at work.

"Now, you've got to bring those emotions back, because whatever AI does needs evaluation, and that evaluation comes down to how we feel about what appears on our screens," he said.

Bring your whole self to your job

While it might have been well-intentioned, critics have long found the idea of showing up at work as the unvarnished version of yourself to be problematic.

Ella F. Washington, a professor of practice at Georgetown University, previously told Business Insider that a better way to think about the idea is to bring your whole professional self to work.

That might mean working with people you might not like. Or, Warrell said, it could mean pushing through a bad mood.

"If one part of your whole self is that you're short-tempered and grumpy in the morning, don't bring that self to work," she said.

An earlier version of this story appeared on March 3, 2025.

• Michael Greene reflects on his journey running Matthews Cafeteria in Tucker, Georgia.
• Despite not enjoying the work as a kid, Greene now finds joy in operating the family cafeteria.
• Greene's focus is on his kids' freedom, not pressuring them into the family business.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Michael Greene, 53, third-generation owner and operator of the 70-year-old Matthews Cafeteria in Tucker, Georgia. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My family has run Matthews Cafeteria for three generations. A fourth would be rare and special, but I don't expect it.

I have four kids, ages 12, 10, 8, and 4. They're all boys, and people often assume that at least one of them will take over one day, but I'm not going to push them into this business if they don't want it.

I was one of four, and my parents didn't pressure my siblings or me to run the family business. They gave us the chance to be anything we wanted. So when I think about my sons, I want them to have that same freedom.

I don't expect they'll want this type of work. I was the only one in my generation who wanted anything to do with the business, and it's a tough job. It's also extremely rewarding.

I didn't enjoy the cafeteria when I was growing up

At age 12, my parents required me to start working in the cafeteria during the summer. I started out washing dishes. I only spent about three hours a day at the job, but it felt like 12.

Meanwhile, my friends, who didn't have jobs, were at the pool. So, the cafeteria was by no means my favorite place to be as a kid because it felt like I was missing out.

That said, I plan for each of my sons to work the same job I did as a kid. My eldest will start this summer.

I don't expect him to like it, but it's important to see what his Dad does, to see where the money comes from, and what it takes to make a dollar.

I eventually found my way back to the family business

I can't remember exactly when I decided to go into the family business. Looking back, I think it was my destiny to end up here because cooking is my passion.

As a kid, I would watch chefs like Nathalie Dupree and Julia Childs on TV and try to recreate what they made. When I went to college, I majored in communications, but never found it rewarding.

Nothing else turned me on the way cooking did. Cooking was my only passion back then, and I'm lucky to say it still is today. Sometimes, when you have to make a living out of what you love, it takes the fun out of it. I'm grateful that the bottom line hasn't spoiled my joy.

I run the production side of things at Matthews, watching the food transform from raw products into what you see on your plate. That'll never get old.

The work is harder than it looks, though. You're on your feet all day — lifting, moving, cooking, solving problems. It's not a desk job.

Up until recently, I was here at 5 a.m. to open and stayed until about 3:30 in the afternoon. Now we open at 6 a.m., and I don't work quite as much as I used to because life is busy with four kids. I also have an incredible staff who, along with my wife, are really what keep this place running smoothly.

During COVID, my wife took on the business side — handling payroll, taxes, catering, everything — after our managers quit.

So, we really don't get to turn off ever — there's always something that needs to be done. That's why I don't take it lightly when people assume my kids will step into this business.

This business has given me a good life

If one of my boys wants to do this and has a passion for it, then I'll support that. But I don't want them to have it as a crutch. Instead, I want them to study hard, get an education, and forge their own path.

This business has given me a good life. It's supported my family and about 30 employees. It's where I met my wife. We got engaged at the same table where I first laid eyes on her. It means a lot to me now in a way it didn't when I was younger.

If one or more of my kids choose the same path, it will be because they want it — the same way I did.

• British billionaire John Caudwell has eight children, ranging in age from 2 to 47.
• From flying coach to wearing Zara, he's intent on raising grounded and hardworking kids.
• Here's Caudwell's approach to parenting — and his biggest piece of advice.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with John Caudwell, the British billionaire founder of mobile phone businesses Phones 4u and Singlepoint, both of which he sold. Caudwell is raising three children with his partner, former Olympian Modesta Vžesniauskaitė, and now focuses on his childrens' charities and real estate investing. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

My family life is very dynamic. I have eight children, one of whom I'm the stepfather to. My youngest kids are 2 and 5 years old, and my oldest is 47.

I grew up in a little terraced house in the middle of Stoke-on-Trent, and I had next to nothing. I don't want my kids to have next to nothing, but I don't want to overcorrect the way that some rich people do.

For my older kids, when I was building my businesses, there was less time on a day-to-day basis, but it was quality time. I've always made quality time an absolute priority: almost never missing a sports day or prize-giving, things that were important.

Now, we do most of the parenting and don't have nannies. I have two housekeepers who help out, but school is the real answer, from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. That gives them discipline, entertainment, interest, and education.

Flying economy and shopping at Primark

Everybody wants to be spoiled, but it's very important that we keep our kids' feet on the ground, so we are very controlled about how we approach luxury.

For instance, when we go on the superyacht for a family holiday, that's mainly a treat for me. The adult children have to make their own way to the boat. The younger ones travel in economy with Modesta — I'll take business class most of the time — and we take the budget airline easyJet. We have to demonstrate to them what normal life is like.

They have virtually no designer clothes — maybe some that they got as presents, but we buy them clothes from Zara and Primark. If you go to Gucci and pay a thousand pounds, are the kids any happier? No, they're not. Do they end up having a very spoiled attitude? Yeah, they probably do.

When we take them to a restaurant, they'll have chicken nuggets and chips, and the younger ones share a plate. I hate wasting food. I always remember, when one of my daughters was young, we went to a restaurant, and she asked, "Daddy, would you really mind on this occasion if I had steak and chips?" You see kids out there just ordering lobster, and my kids would never dream of it.

When it comes to spoiling, one early mistake we made was buying them too much at Christmas. Not expensive gifts, but too many of them. They'd scramble through all the boxes and end up playing with a cardboard box. Now, we take a much more frugal approach; two or three Christmas presents are more than enough.

Our financial support is a very frugal help line that encourages them to achieve their own success. It supports them while they're in school so they can focus on being good students. It doesn't pay for them to go out to nightclubs or have expensive meals. My support is very much related to the effort they put into their lives.

My adult children are all busy making their own careers. One of my daughters is a psychotherapist, one works in real estate, and another works at a bank. One of my sons is a musician, writing and producing songs, and another is getting his real estate license.

The golden rule

The one thing I always do is that no matter what happens in your child's life, you're constantly telling them you love them.

No matter how much I have to punish them, it's always followed by, "Well, of course, I love you, darling. I love you very much, but I have to discipline you because you have to grow up to be meaningful, good people."

That's been consistent: I don't really want anything from them in life other than for them to be happy and leave the world a better place than they found it.

What does it matter if they're rich, if they're unhappy? What does it matter if they're an Olympian, if they're unhappy?

If every kid could grow up to aspire to those goals, which of course is very difficult to achieve, what a wonderful life for our children, but also what a wonderful place for the world to be.

• Career growth depends on building a network rather than relying solely on your manager's support.
• Career coach Andrea Wasserman encourages forming cross-functional relationships to enhance visibility.
• Office "influencers" shape outcomes without formal authority, making them key allies for career progress.

Many corporate professionals believe their career trajectory hinges on one person: their boss. They think: If my manager advocates for me, I'll get promoted. If not, I'm stuck.

That's a misconception because promotions rarely come from a single champion — they come from a web of relationships. These include people who shape the perception of others, pressure-test your thinking, influence decision-makers, and speak about you when you're not in the room.

If you want your career trajectory to soar this year, you should be refining your relationship strategy, starting with these five categories of people.

1. The cross-functional partner who depends on you

High performers often invest in building deep credibility within their own team and spend significant time thinking about how to impress senior leaders, but neglect peers in adjacent functional areas. This limits visibility.

I once worked with a retail marketing director who consistently exceeded her revenue targets. She assumed that would be enough for promotion, but when senior executives evaluated her readiness for a broader role, they asked, "How does she lead cross-functionally?" Her merchandising partner on another team described her as territorial and protective. This stalled her progression.

She rebuilt the relationship by scheduling monthly alignment meetings with merchandising and supply chain, asking about their margin pressures, and proactively adjusting campaign timing to reduce markdown risk. Within two quarters, her boss told her those partners started advocating for her "one company" mindset.

Cross-functional relationships create leverage because they expand who experiences your leadership. Your reputation can't grow within your silo.

2. The culture carrier

Every organization has culture carriers who are respected insiders without an HR title or the formal authority to lead culture, who set an example of acceptable norms and embody how decisions actually get made. They may not have the biggest titles, but they have credibility and context.

When a newly promoted vice president entered a financial services firm, I saw him struggle in executive meetings. His ideas were strong, but they didn't land. He later realized he was presenting a detailed analysis in a culture that valued decisive framing.

He built a relationship with a longtime chief of staff who was widely respected but rarely in the spotlight. She helped him understand the company's "operating language," which is how leaders structure arguments, how disagreement is expressed, and what signals executive readiness.

Within months, his presence shifted. He wasn't more competent than before, but he was better prepared to show up appropriately. It's critical to understand the unwritten rules so you can move inside them with greater ease.

3. The influencer without formal authority

There's often someone who shapes outcomes without owning the final vote. It may be a product manager, a program lead who briefs the executive team, or a person who controls the data that frames strategic decisions. These influencers control how far your work goes and what people think of it.

A senior operations leader once told me she was invisible in the prep work for big meetings, even though she felt she had valuable contributions to make. Instead of chasing her boss and pleading for airtime, she focused on the strategy lead, who oversaw the synthesis of updates and recommendations from various functional areas. She began sending structured summaries — three risks, three opportunities, and one recommendation — to that person ahead of key meetings. Within weeks, her language began appearing verbatim in board decks.

Rather than demanding visibility, she became indispensable to someone who already had a seat at the table. While it's tempting to chase senior leaders, don't overlook the people who shape what those leaders see.

4. The truth-teller

Feedback can be hard to get. Your boss may soften it, peers may avoid it, and direct reports may filter it, but without it, your growth will stall. You need one person who will tell you the hard truths before they cost you credibility.

A high-potential director once asked a peer she trusted, "What's one thing I do that might be hurting how I'm perceived?" The answer she got made her uncomfortable: "You over-explain when you're presenting, and it makes you sound defensive." In executive settings, brevity signals confidence, but her error never came up in a performance review.

She began practicing tighter framing. Within months, leaders described her as more decisive and executive. The issue wasn't competence — she was simply unaware of a change she needed to make.

5. The sponsor — but built through exposure, not "pick your brain" requests

Senior sponsorship doesn't start with a formal ask for mentorship or coffee dates. It happens through consistent exposure to your work and your thinking behind it.

One client assumed his boss's boss would naturally champion him, having heard through the grapevine about his analytical rigor. He delivered strong results but only showed the output, not the problem-solving process. I coached him to shift his approach and, instead of presenting only one conclusion, bring structured options: "Here are three paths, here's the tradeoff, and here's my recommendation."

The goal is to have someone who references your strategic ability in executive meetings, so you become known as "already operating at the next level."

Next steps

If you're new to your organization, introverted, or stretched thin, prioritizing several relationships may feel overwhelming. It doesn't have to be.

Start with two relationships this quarter. Replace one transactional update with a strategic conversation. Ask one person for candid feedback. Offer one cross-functional assist that wasn't required. In a hybrid work environment, it's ideal to schedule these conversations for in-person days, but it's better to make them happen remotely than not at all.

If you focus only on impressing your boss, you narrow your sphere of influence. By building these five relationships, you expand your reach. This road map will ensure that enough of the right people experience your capabilities.