• My sister and I flew to Paris to meet up with our 78-year-old dad, who visits the city every year.
• I couldn't believe how different he seemed, from wearing linen clothing to speaking fluent French.
• This trip showed me new facets of his interests and how a place can truly transform a person.

My 78-year-old dad has had a 15-year love affair with Paris. Every summer like clockwork, he and my stepmom escape their New England home and make their annual pilgrimage to the French capital.

Even though my older sister and I have done our fair share of our own adventures, we had still never been to Paris. That was my dad's thing, not ours.

However, that all changed in 2023, when my sister and I flew into Charles de Gaulle to see what all the fuss was about.

The morning we arrived, we planned to meet our dad in the lobby of our hotel. It had been a few weeks since I saw him, and I almost didn't recognize him when he walked through the door.

He had a breezy linen shirt, leather sandals, and a scruffy 5 o'clock shadow.

For a man who wouldn't dare leave his New England house without a clean shave, my immediate thought was that something had gone wrong. He probably lost power, misplaced his razor, or found his way into a Montmartre absinthe bar.

My sister and I joked, "Is customs confiscating Gillettes nowadays?"

"It's the Paris effect," he replied, as if it were obvious.

He'd transformed into a Parisian local right in front of my eyes

In New England, I know my dad to be a few things: a down-to-earth parent, a woodworker by trade, and a meticulous professor. In his classes, he instills a love of hand-carved pieces and abstract chairs in a generation that grew up with Ikea furniture.

That particular version of himself is all I'd known — most of the time we've spent together has been where we've lived in the northeast.

However, as my dad has continued to visit Paris over the years, he's established new roots and, apparently, another identity — one that was completely unknown to my sister and me.

In Paris, my dad's L.L. Bean flannels were on sabbatical. Instead, he stuck with a mostly linen wardrobe, and shirts rarely ever buttoned to the neck.

As we walked around the city, he showed us his favorite spots, grumbled about the crowds, and scoffed at the suggestion of going to the Eiffel Tower.

I was thoroughly shocked when we went to a local café, and he ordered for us in remarkably good French.

Throughout the trip, I continued to gather new information about my dad, like his love of drinking thick red wines and wearing a denim chore coat from his preferred atelier. I also discovered that he pairs a stinky cheese with a long walk along the Seine and likes to take his lunch in the Luxembourg Gardens.

He seemed like a true local, and I was blown away by the person in front of me.

By meeting a different version of my dad, I remembered my own potential to become someone new

While we were in Paris, I felt like I had been reintroduced to my dad. I learned about more of his interests and frequented his stomping grounds, but I also met a version of him who exists only in that city.

I realized I had previously seen my parents as just singular characters in life, an isolated definition of who someone can be. However, seeing my dad in Paris confirmed for me that who we are is relative not only to our relationships but also to geography.

It felt special to connect with a new side of him as an adult, and this experience also left me reflecting on the year and a half I spent living in South Korea back in 2021.

After returning to the United States, I felt that something essential had changed in who I was, but I also felt that I had left someone behind. Maybe it was about time to reawaken that part of myself on a return visit.

I'm hoping to schedule another trip to Paris with my dad sometime this year. But regardless of where we are in the world, I can't wait to discover more of his interests and alternate personas — and maybe find other versions of myself along the way, too.

• Every December, I travel with my mother-in-law and wife. This year, we took a trip to Charleston.
• Encouraging my mother-in-law to help plan led us to experiences we wouldn't have found on our own.
• We built the days around what she could handle and took turns picking activities and restaurants.

My wife, Cece, moved from Texas to Australia 12 years ago, but we still head back to the US every Christmas.

While we're home, the two of us take a trip with her mother, Liz. Liz's partner, Pete, doesn't like to travel, so this annual December trip is her primary holiday.

In the past, we've headed to Nashville, Seattle, and Washington DC. At the end of last year, we spent four days in Charleston and had a wonderful trip.

We picked activities at Liz's pace and took turns choosing experiences

Over the years, we've learned that Liz enjoys a trip more when she can help shape it rather than just show up for it. So before heading to Charleston, I had a visitor's brochure mailed to her in Texas.

The day it arrived, she called with a list of things she had already researched and wanted to try, including a Gullah Geechee tour to learn about the history and culture of the descendants of enslaved Africans who settled along the Carolina coast.

Bus and walking tours were available, and we chose the bus even though I would've preferred the latter.

It was important for us to consider what would be most sustainable for my 75-year-old mother-in-law when booking activities. Riding the bus meant Liz could arrive at lunch with energy instead of blisters.

Throughout the trip, we also took turns selecting activities so no one felt left out. My choice was a cocktail-making class, which is also indoors and offers plenty of seating.

Liz drinks a little but would never have thought to book a class like this herself, which is another perk of taking turns: You get to try things you never thought you would.

The class ended up being just the three of us at a bar with a 25-year-old instructor. We learned how the Old Fashioned got its name, what makes a good bartender, and that Liz pours generously. Her first attempt overflowed.

By the third round, Liz was jiggling the shaker like a professional and informing us she was keeping up with "the young kids."

The instructor even invited her behind the bar. She posed for the camera, and we sent the video straight to Pete. He replied: "Oh boy. She's really loving this."

Liz also chose for us to visit the Charleston City Market, a stretch of local vendors and artists that has been running for centuries.

We'd planned to stop for an hour and stayed for over two as Liz watched sweetgrass baskets being woven, bought Christmas ornaments, and talked to every artisan who'd stand still long enough.

I walked ahead and checked my watch several times, but tried to stay patient. Liz had taken a whole cocktail-making class she'd never have picked herself, so two hours at the market felt fair.

Each of us got to choose a meal, too

Over our four days, we each picked a meal to share. Liz chose Lewis BBQ, partly because it's run by a fellow Texan, which she felt was a good sign.

She takes barbecue seriously, and the brisket was the real test. Her wide post-bite smile told me the barbecue had passed.

I took us to Southern restaurant Poogan's Porch one night so we could order shrimp and grits, something I'd never tried.

Cece chose to get breakfast on our last morning at Callie's Hot Little Biscuits. We ordered a range of sweet and savory bites, and Cece and I managed to take down one biscuit each.

Liz had two and a half and immediately bought a box to take home.

In the end, a few things made the trip work

Encouraging my mother-in-law to plan from Texas meant she arrived at our destination already invested with ideas we'd never have found on our own.

Picking activities at a pace that suited everyone, like the Gullah Geechee bus tour and the cocktail-making class, meant no one was worn out by dinner — and taking turns meant nobody got dragged through someone else's idea of fun for too long.

At the end of the trip, Liz flew home to San Antonio with biscuits, cocktail recipes, and Christmas ornaments. Her partner said she looked like she was having the time of her life in the photos and videos we sent, though the cocktails are still a work in progress.

We've already begun planning this December's trip, so I should probably send a new brochure to Liz soon.